


why (won't you) love me

by flustraaa



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Malec Angst, Sad Magnus Bane, in love magnus bane, kinda fluffy if you really really squint, kinda open ending (if u squint), literally a horrible misuse of hyphens will be in all of my stories pls be prepared for it, magnus bane and alec lightwood angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-09 23:19:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18927028
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flustraaa/pseuds/flustraaa
Summary: "Why'd you let him go?""... I ask myself the same thing- every. single. day."





	why (won't you) love me

**Author's Note:**

> sometimes i write things and i'm like... do you really wanna do this bro? this was one of those times.

Magnus lies on his back staring up at the ceiling, the breaths beside him not comforting him in the way they once could. 

Magnus turns to look at the dark haired man beside him, eyes closed to cover his dull blue eyes. 

There’s scruff covering his face- Magnus used to love that on Alec. 

He sighs faintly, turning his head back to the ceiling, adjusting the sheets against his naked chest. 

He misses the way things used to be- the things he’d used to love more than anything about his raven-haired shadowhunter. 

“Magnus?” He asks from beside him faintly, “Do you ever miss it?” 

“Miss what?” Magnus asks, voice quiet and hoarse, though he knows full and well. 

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” He says, voice sounding hurt. 

“I’m afraid I don’t, sweetie,” The word tastes like poison on his tongue. 

“Do you ever miss him?” The boy’s voice is barely a whisper and he’s now peaking over at Magnus with blue-grey eyes. 

Those eyes weren’t his eyes, those lips would never be the soft dusty rose colour of his, that hair would never be his hair, that smile wouldn’t ever be his smile, and that boy- would never be his boy. 

Magnus finds himself licking his lips, “Every single day.” 

“Then why’d you let him go?” The chocolate haired boy breathes, rolling over to look at Magnus who just slowly turns his head to look at the dark haired boy. 

“I ask myself the same thing.”

“I’ll never be him- we both know that,” He gently leans forward, pressing a final kiss to Magnus' lips, before slipping his clothes back on. 

That torso would never be his, that chest would never be the one he came home too, those arms would never be the strong ones of the boy he’d fallen for. 

“Magnus?” 

Magnus tears his eyes away from the boy’s body. 

“I have one more question.” 

Magnus pushes himself up to sit, looking the boy dead in the eyes. 

“Of course?” 

“What was his name?” 

Magnus smiles faintly, “Alexander. Alexander Lightwood.” 

“And you loved him?” 

“I still do, more than anything.” 

“Find him, tell him that.” 

“I can’t.” 

“Why not?” 

“He’s been dead for almost fifteen years.”


End file.
